


Maybe I just Wanna Be Yours

by burnintoash (funnymorning)



Category: Block B, Winner (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, Minor Zico/Jung Joon Young as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 08:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6416083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnymorning/pseuds/burnintoash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But, maybe Seungyoon can be an exception. Just for this once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“You never wrote a song about me,” Kyung says. He has been here since 10 in the morning, way before Jiho woke up because Jiho has spent another night holed up in the studio working on a track that he probably won’t release anyway. 

Kyung has let himself into Jiho’s house, woken him up, and complaint about the lack of the food in the fridge before taking it upon himself to call delivery. So basically, just another Monday when Kyung is bored. 

“I didn’t write a song about him,” Jiho clarifies and picks up another cheese stick, taking a mental note to check later if Kyung ordered all this food using Jiho’s credit card. 

“Inspired,” Kyung hums, in a voice that is probably supposed to imitate Jiho’s but comes out more like he has a bad sore throat. “Same shit.”

“I got inspired by the smallest things,” Jiho defends, although he is not sure why he even has to defend anything.

This is all Minho’s fault. Last night, he sent a text that said _“I can’t believe ur new song is abt seungyoon wtf”_ , and Jiho, in his dumbest hours, replied. _“I was just a little inspired by him.”_

And then, Minho screenshot that shit and sent it to the group chat aptly titled “We could have had it all – Block B version”. So now, Hanhae is harassing Jiho on Kakao talk and Kyung is harassing him in person. Yukwon and Minhyuk are staying silent, as expected of them. Or it is possible they have that group chat on mute. 

“All I am saying is,” Kyung says, finishing up his soda. “Bros before hoes, man.”

“Seungyoon is not a hoe.”

“Really?” Kyung gives him a bitchface. “That’s all you took away from everything that I’ve been saying?”

“I am just saying we are all bros here.” Jiho replies. “There is no hoe in this equation.”

“Bros don’t write sappy songs about another bro.” Kyung says, gesturing wildly, the crumbs from the pizza slice in his hand flying all over the floor. “That’s like rule one of the bro club.”

Jiho opens his mouth to reply, but his phone rings, and he looks down to see a text from Seungyoon. 

>> _Congrats on the song, hyung. I really like it. Btw, I am cuter than Holly, right? ☺_

Jiho smiles, and then restrains himself because Kyung is a snitch. He clumsily wipes his grease-stained fingers with a tissue, and picks up the phone to quickly type out a reply. 

“Buckwilds hyungs.” He says to Kyung as an explanation. He is not sure why he is lying. It is not like he and Seungyoon are whatever Kyung thinks they are, and he has nothing to hide. 

But, at the same time, Kyung is a meddling meddler, and it’s fine with Jiho, really. He has known Kyung for more than half of his life – he can deal with Kyung. But he doesn’t want Kyung to go and harass Seungyoon as well because he totally would. 

Seungyoon is too pure for Kyung. 

>> _Totally! I would have asked u for the mv if u are not so busy with ur comeback._  
>> _Thank you btw_

He sends back a couple of texts to Seungyoon, and while he is at it, scrolls through the schedule manager hyung sent this morning – the one that Jiho has been trying his best to ignore. 

“The dance practice is at 4?” Jiho asks Kyung, who is trying his best to defend jjo-ddong from jumping onto his lap. 

“Just because you have a few hit songs,” Kyung replies and shoos off jjo-ddong, who just coolly licks at Kyung’s shin in reply. “you think you can just forget about the group practice?”

“Say that shit in public and I’ll kill you.” Jiho warns him. “I know we have a dance practice. I just thought it’s at 1, not at 4.”

“Jaehyo hyung’s check up session got moved. He said that in the group chat yesterday.”

Right. Jiho vaguely remembers Jaehyo saying something like that. Honestly, he is used to just skimming messages from Jaehyo because nobody has time for Jaehyo’s sentimental outbursts at 3 in the morning. 

But this means he just has a lunch spot opened. 

Jiho picks up his phone, and sends Seungyoon a quick text.

>> _Got some free time during lunch. Wanna go try that Mexican restaurant you’ve been talking about?_

“I am going to head to studio,” Kyung says, finally giving in and picking up jjo-ddong to sit her down on his lap. “Do some vocal re-records. You wanna come along?”

“I’ll drop by later. Probably.” Jiho replies. “Got lunch with someone.”

“Which someone?” Kyung narrows his eyes, like the most serious investigator in the world. 

“No one you need to know.” Jiho retorts as his phone receives a text.

>> _I can’t. I’m on a diet ☹ Comeback season._  
  
Jiho is only slightly disappointed. 

>> _But there’s a really good salad place in Itaewon if you are willing to drive!_

Jiho loathes salad.

>> _Sounds good._ He replies back anyway.  >> _I’ll pick you up around 1?_

>> _Ok! Come to YG bldg._  
  
“You know, life would be a lot easier for you if you are a little bit more self-aware.” Kyung says and Jiho looks up from his phone.

“What?”

“See my face? This is my judgmental face.” Kyung continues on like he doesn’t hear what Jiho has been saying. “Because I am judging you. Actually both me and jjo-ddong are judging you.”

“Stop dragging my dog into your nonsense.” Jiho says. It’s already fifteen past noon, so he needs to start moving if he wants to reach YG by 1. “I am gonna go shower.”

“I’ll let myself out.” Kyung replies and stretches. “Have a good lunch with Seungyoon.”

Jiho glares at him, and Kyung just smirks back. Jiho would ask how Kyung knows but then it would just open up more floodgates of nuisance. Sometimes, silence is indeed golden. 

“Clean up after yourself before you go,” Jiho says instead and gets up. Jjo-ddong jumps off of Kyung, and comes running towards Jiho. At least, someone is still loyal to him. 

“I already called the cleaning lady for this evening.” Kyung says flippantly, and Jiho sighs. Sometimes, he wonders if it is his name or Kyung’s on the lease of this house. “Oh yeah, by the way, I used your credit card earlier to order the food, and to make advance payment to the cleaning agency.”

For fuck’s sake. 

*

Seungyoon is late, or Jiho is early. It is only 2 minutes past 1 PM so Jiho just parks his car in the free space and reads the outline script for his next show, doing his best to memorize it. Going to variety without the guys is always nerve-wrecking and Jiho’s big mouth has almost ruined him a couple of times, so it is always better to prepare, no matter how boring the script is. 

Someone bangs on the window, and Jiho looks up to see Seungyoon smiling down at him, curly hair flat against his forehead. 

Jiho unlocks the doors and Seungyoon walks around the car to get into the front seat. 

“Sorry,” Seungyoon apologizes as he gets in. “Did you have to wait for a long time?”

“It’s fine,” Jiho smiles back, and starts the car. “It was only a couple of minutes.”

“I had to take a shower since we were doing dance practice before.” Seungyoon says. “Can’t stink up your car.”

Jiho laughs. “Pretty sure there is one of Kyung’s dirty socks wedged in the backseat. And Dean spilled his beer all over the seats last week.”

“Good to know,” Seungyoon raises an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t bother next time.”

Jiho just laughs at him, and turns the car onto the highway. 

*

Minho texts when Jiho is working his way through a Chicken Caesar salad (at least the dressing is delicious, so it wasn’t as much of an ordeal as Jiho was fearing) and telling Seungyoon about the taxing vocal lessons he had to go through for his latest single. 

>> _Free for lunch? Everyone ditched me ☹_

“You didn’t tell Minho we are going for lunch?” Jiho asks Seungyoon, who swallows down his mouthful of green leaves before looking up at Jiho. 

“He was going over choreo with Seunghoon hyung when I left,” Seungyoon says. “And I thought you wanted to have lunch just the two of us.” Seungyoon’s face immediately heats up a little right after his words – Jiho would even say he is blushing. “I can call him now.”

“No, no.” Jiho interrupts. “Just the two of us is fine.” 

“You sure?” Seungyoon asks, small smile forming on his face. 

“Yeah. I am sure.” Jiho smiles back and lifts the water jug to pour more water into Seungyoon’s glass before sending back a “Sorry” to Minho. 

Just the two of them is fine. 

*

Things get a little hectic after that. They had to change a couple of points in their main single choreo because singing live proved to be a little difficult in the high jumps choreo hyung had them doing. Which means, double the practice hours, especially for poor unfortunate souls who can’t pick up on dance moves as quickly as Yukwon or Minhyuk. 

Plus, they have to start recording in Japanese for the new album because they don’t want to lose the momentum they have going with their Japanese fan base. So, Jiho is getting approximately two hours of sleep everyday with a meal break of one full hour if he is lucky. By the time the first week of February is drawing to an end, Jiho is so worn out he is falling asleep on the toilet seat. 

Minho and Jihoon decide to host a party just before Lunar New Year starts, to celebrate Jihoon’s birthday + Seunghoon and Seungyoon’s long past birthdays + Jihoon’s play + Winner comeback + New Year (both the Western one and the Lunar one) + everything else they miss. They are all usually up to their necks with work, so combined party once every six months are way more practical and sensible. 

The party is at Block B dorm because Jiho changes his passcode and actually padlocks the door to his house. And Winner dorm is apparently off-limit since they have nowhere to put their pets for the night. Kyung grumbles and whines all the way through dinner, but eventually gives up and tells Minho to set up everything back at the dorm. 

Minho promises it’s a small party with close friends, but about 40 people turn up, and everyone is pressed from chest to thighs in the small dorm. There are about six people lying on the small couch in the living room the last time Jiho counted. 

Jiho, of course, knew all these people because his social circle is as big, if not bigger than Minho’s, so he has to spend a good few hours of the night socializing and trying his best to not get drunk because tomorrow is the new year eve and he has annoying relatives to endure. 

Actually, it might be better to get completely inebriated. Mom can’t drag him to visits if Jiho is half dead, right?

“I’ve heard,” Minho is saying, sitting cross-legged on the floor with a glass of whatever-concoction-Kyung-and-Jaehyo-has-whipped-out, “that _someone_ still hasn’t watched our new music videos.”

He tilts his head towards Jiho, and gives a pretty mean glare, leaving no doubt to anyone listening that who that “someone” is.

“I listened to the songs!” Jiho says in his defense. “I was just so busy.”

“I was recording when your songs come out,” Minho says in a betrayed tone. “But I still watched your videos, even if I have to do it when I was pooping.”

“Thanks for the support.” Jiho grimaces. 

“Let’s watch them now,” Jihoon claps loudly, and announces. “Starting from their teasers.”

“Nope!” Minho yells and gets up quicker than Jiho can blink. “We need to cut the cake. Where is the cake?”

“He makes out in the videos,” Jihoon turns to Jiho and says. “With girls.”

“I know,” Jiho snorts. “I don’t actually live under a rock.”

“So, Jiho, I was thinking, for our video as well…” Kyung starts and Jiho gives him a big fat nope before escaping the same route as Minho. 

Minho is in the kitchen with Seungyoon, trying to lit the candles on the cake. Or trying to set the cake on fire. Jiho is not sure. 

“Did you rob a candle store?” Jiho asks, and Seungyoon turns to grin at him. 

“24 for Jihoon. 23 for me, and 25 for Seunghoon hyung, but we can only fit 40 on the cake.”

Jiho raises an eyebrow. “You can just, I don’t know, not use all of them.”

“No fun in that.” Minho says, stepping back a little as the flames almost burn his brows out. 

“It’s gonna take the whole night to take those candles back out,” Seungyoon turns to Jiho and says as Minho, very carefully, carries the cake out of the kitchen.

“If the dorm isn’t on fire by then,” Jiho reminds him, and leans against the doorframe to watch Minho yelling his way through the thongs of people. He probably doesn’t need to do that since people are already shrieking and getting out of his way once they saw him coming in like some kind of fire demon. 

“Haven’t heard from you in a while.” Seungyoon says, leaning on the other side of the doorframe. 

Jiho turns his head to look at him. 

“I texted you when your album dropped.” He says, sounding as lame as he imagined. 

“You haven’t even watched the music videos.” Seungyoon rolls his eyes. Jiho is going to kill Minho. 

“Anyway, you used to text me like every night.” Seungyoon says, and looks awkward immediately after. “Sorry, that sounded so clingy, didn’t it?”

“No, no. I mean, a little, yeah, but I mean, I get it. You miss me, don’t you?” Jiho replies, with a wink to make it obvious that he is, in fact, joking. Seungyoon just gives him a little glare. 

“I just,” Jiho sighs, “don’t know what is day and night these few days. I barely get out of the studio and that’s only to some group practice.”

“I understand,” Seungyoon smiles slightly. “I was just being sentimental.”

“Did you just quote your fucking song at me?”

“At least you listened to the songs.” Seungyoon winks at him and disappears into the crowd when Minho starts yelling for the birthday boys. 

Things kind of blurred together after that. Jihoon called him out front to cut the cake with him as well, apparently to commemorate his mild success at solo attempts and the impending Block B comeback – which is supposed to be a secret and yet all the people at the party are made aware of because Jihoon has no filters on his mouth when he is drunk. 

Jiho endures a couple more drinks before he finally decides to cut off for the night. He could stay at the dorm, but he is pretty sure Taeil is only offering so that he can help them clean up in the morning. He doesn’t feel like going home either. He doesn’t feel like being alone tonight.

Great. Now, he is the one quoting fucking Winner’s songs. 

So, he turns left at the traffic light before the street to his house, and parks in the parking lot of a building he hasn’t been to in, god, how long has it been, three weeks?

Joon Young looks like it is 6 in the evening, and he is just getting ready for a night’s out. Which knowing him, he probably is. 

“You look terrible.” Joon Young says and lets Jiho in, kicking his multiple shoes at the entrance to make room for Jiho’s sneakers. “I thought you are busy.”

“Was. Probably will. Not now though.” Jiho says and head dives onto the couch in the living room. 

“So eloquent.” Joon Young snorts, and throws a water bottle at his chest. Jiho chugs it all while lying down, and tries his best not to choke. 

“You going out?” Jiho asks, a little more awake now that the ice cold water burns through his throat. 

“Just got back, actually. Remember that one actress I was telling you about.” Joon Young says and takes off his shirt, throwing it blindly across the room. “Scored a date with her.”

Jiho snorts. “Has she run away yet?”

“We are going golfing after the holidays.”

“Golfing,” Jiho grimaces. “You are so pretentious. Hopefully, she’s smart enough to block your number after that second date.”

“You must be pretty fucking dumb then,” Joon Young says, and comes to sit down on the same couch that Jiho is lying on. “Since this is like your 20th time here.”

“At least I never went golfing with you.” Jiho says and sighs a little when Joon Young leans down to kiss him. 

“You alright?” Joon Young asks, probably because Jiho wasn’t kissing back. 

“I am just tired.” Jiho shakes his head. “Not really in the mood.”

“That’d be a first.” Joon Young says and Jiho punches him in the arm. “I need to sleep anyway. Got shit to do in the morning.”

“All of us do.” Jiho says and watches Joon Young gets up and heads towards the washroom. “Hyung, you don’t mind me coming over, right? I mean, even if, we are not gonna.”

“No, you must pay with your body every time you set foot in this house.” Joon Young yells from the washroom and Jiho snorts. 

Joon Young comes back out a good few minutes later, face bare and hair wet. “You gonna sleep in my bed or stay out here?”

“Gonna stay out for a little,” Jiho says and wiggles a little to be more comfortable. “I’ll come in later.”

“Fine. Just don’t touch my dick when I am sleeping.” Joon Young says and Jiho throws up a middle finger at him. 

It is closing to 4 in the morning, and Jiho should be doing his best to sleep but he can’t. He opened the car windows on his way here to clear his head, and seems like he cleared it up way too much. Normally, Jiho would just head to the studio and work in this state, but right now, he just doesn’t want to move. 

He ends up watching Winner’s new music videos, because at least, that will stop Minho from badgering him again the future. 

>> _Pretty._

He sends a text to Seungyoon right after, temporarily forgetting what time of the night it is. 

>> _I mean the music videos. Not you._  
>> _Although you are pretty. Kind of._  
>> _You are ok, I guess._

He is not expecting Seungyoon to reply in a short few minutes. 

>> _Thanks! -_-_

Jiho stares at the screen for a couple of seconds before pressing call. 

“Hey,” Seungyoon’s voice is low, like he is carefully whispering. “Let me just get out of the room first. Seunghoon hyung is sleeping.”

“Did I wake you up?” Jiho asks. “Sorry.”

“No, I wasn’t asleep,” Seungyoon says and Jiho can hear a door being closed softly in the background. “And apparently, neither were you.”

“Can’t sleep.” Jiho sighs. 

“You at the studio?” Seungyoon asks. “Maybe we can go for supper?”

“If we go at this time, we can only get very early breakfast.” Jiho replies, staring at the clock on the wall. “Anyway, I am not at the studio. Crashing at a friend’s place.”

“Oh,” is the only thing Seungyoon says. Jiho is not sure if he sounded disappointed or unaffected. 

“Yeah. I finished watching all of your videos though.” Jiho says. “You didn’t tell me you had a kissing scene too.”

“Ah, it was over a paper card. It was very innocent.” Seungyoon replies. 

“If you ask me, that was the sexiest scene in all the videos,” Jiho laughs. 

Sound of crashes and subsequent meowing comes through the phone, and Jiho frowns a little. “Everything alright?”

“It’s fine.” Seungyoon says in a rush. “Seems like I woke the cats.”

“As expected,” Jiho smirks. “You are a pussy magnet.” 

The line goes silent for a minute, and Jiho sighs. “Fine. That was a lame ass joke. I am sorry.”

Seungyoon laughs from the other end. “As long as you know it. Pally, no, it’s not breakfast time yet.”

“Go feed your kids,” Jiho says. It is now closing to 5 so he really should sleep. Or maybe he can steal some wine from Joon Young. “I am going to try and sleep.”

“Sure,” Seungyoon replies. “I will see you …”

“I will see you when I see you, I guess.” Jiho completes the sentence for him. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Seungyoon agrees. “Happy New Year, hyung.”

“Happy new year, Seungyoon.” Jiho replies and hangs up the phone, throwing it onto the table so that he won’t be tempted to open it anymore. 

“Happy new year,” he says to himself, and pulls down the hood of his jacket to cover his eyes. 

*

Jiho is back in the studio after two days of stuffing himself and wishing it was soju instead of tea he was drinking while making small talk with various relatives he doesn’t see outside of the Lunar New Year. 

It is the same shit every year: _When are you going to find a girlfriend? Can you even date? How much are you earning these days? Can you send my twice-removed cousin an autographed CD?_

He is mentally worn out after just two days, so he tells mom that he has piling work – which is not a lie, the work is indeed piling – and escapes to the studio. 

The problem is work in this case means recording, which means he needs more than just himself in the studio. 

CEO calls him after he left the third voice message on Taeil’s phone. 

“Why are you disrupting other people’s family lunch?” Gyuwook sighs into the phone. Jiho can hear children laughing in the background. 

“I asked him to drop by for an hour.” Jiho pouts. “Just to do some vocal redo.”

“It is new year, Jiho.” Gyuwook sighs again. Let’s be real, sighing is usually what he ends up doing 80% of the time he has to deal with Jiho. “We gave you off days for a reason. Go home and just sleep and eat.” 

“Did that for the past two days. I am bored.” 

“Well, in that case then, you are welcome to just work on your own. Don’t go and call up other members.”

Jiho squints his face and leans back in his chair. “Erugh. Fine.” 

“And no calling to any staff member, either.” Gyuwook adds. “That includes the other producers and musicians.”

“I can’t even call them to wish them a happy new year?” Jiho says flippantly. “What kind of a CEO are you?”

“The one who needs to be back in his family lunch right this minute.” Gyuwook says with finality. “I mean it. Don’t go and harass anyone else.”

“Cross my heart,” Jiho sings and hangs up first. And immediately sends a string of texts to Taeil for being a little snitch. 

Gyuwook didn’t say anything about text messages, did he? 

Taeil doesn’t reply. He doesn’t even read the messages – that asshole. Jiho sighs and opens the container full of food mom packed him up this morning. 

He can’t believe he is having lunch by himself on a New Year day. Granted, it is by choice and he is sure his paternal aunts will be thrilled to see him at the lunch mom and Taewoon are currently at. But he’d rather be alone than sit through another awkward meal, trying his best to get out of blind dates. 

He snaps a photo of his sad lunch, and sends it to a couple of people, complete with sad emojis. 

Seungyoon is the only one who replies. 

>> _Me too. ☹_

Jiho puts down his chopsticks and types a reply. 

>> _I thought you are going to Busan for the new year?_

>> _I am. The train leaves at 2._

Jiho switches to the call app, but thinks better and brings his laptop over to open his Face-time. 

Seungyoon looks genuinely surprised when he picks up the call. 

“Hi!” He blinks into the call, barefaced and hair messy like a puppy that just got out of rain. 

“Wanna have lunch together?” Jiho grins and Seungyoon laughs a little before asking Jiho to call him back so that he can pick the call up from his laptop. 

“How come you didn’t go back since the eve?” Jiho asks after Seungyoon settles down in front of his laptop, with his own meal.

Seungyoon wipes his mouth with a tissue and shrugs. “Some work stuff to tie up here. Plus, trains on even are pretty crowded.”

“Make sense.” Jiho nods and watches Seungyoon delicately chews on an omelette pancake. “You seems to be have lots of food at least.” 

“Yeah, Minho’s mom dropped them off yesterday. I am only to going to eat the new year food today and tomorrow. Can’t break my diet off more than that.”

“You literally weighs less than a feather.” Jiho reminds him, but Seungyoon just shrugs. 

“Why are you in the studio, anyway?” He asks instead. “Is work that busy?”

“Songs to compose, tracks to arrange, relatives to avoid.” Jiho answers. “You know how it is.”

Seungyoon laughs. “So, you are hiding out?”

“More or less.” Jiho nods. “And I am officially banned from calling up anyone else to come accompany me.”

“Aww, is our poor Jiho sad to be alone?” Seungyoon makes a crying face and Jiho snorts. 

“Your poor Jiho is enjoying the peace and quiet.” Jiho replies easily. 

Seungyoon just hums and moves his spoon around on the plate aimlessly. “Do you want to come to Busan with me?”

“Sorry?” Jiho asks. 

“I mean,” Seungyoon says casually even though he looks kind of weirdly stiff. “If you don’t have any urgent work to finish. I saw a lot of open tickets when I booked mine this morning. Plus, my mom would love to have you over.”

“I can’t impose on your family dinner.” Jiho says, a little dumbfounded at the suggestion. 

“It’s just me and mom tonight.” Seungyoon replies. “We are not doing the extended family things until tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?” Jiho asks.

Seungyoon shrugs and picks up a spring roll. “I am sure. Might be nice for you to get out the city for a while also? Rejuvenate for the new year and all that.”

“Busan is as much of a city as Seoul is.” Jiho laughs. 

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” Seungyoon smiles at him. “It’s just a suggestion.”

“No, no.” Jiho says immediately. “I want to. Yeah. Let’s do it.”

Seungyoon’s smile gets a little bigger. “I’ll help you book the tickets. Meet me at Seoul station around 1:30?”

“Yeah, sure. Ok.” Jiho nods and watches Seungyoon goes out of the frame to find his phone.

He is going to Busan.

Apparently. 

*

Jiho spends a good 20 minutes picking out a good outfit to wear. What kind of clothes say “I am good respectable friend of your son who is totally not intruding on your new year family dinner”?

He finally settles on one of the few jeans he has with no visible rips and a plain shirt. He was going to wear one of his good dress shirts and slacks, but that reminded him of what Kyung wore on that one time when he had a serious enough girlfriend to meet her parents.

He is not going to meet his significant other’s parents. There is no need for him to dress up. 

Right?

He changes into the dress shirt last minute. Just in case.

*

Jiho spends more than half of the train ride to Busan making sure Seungyoon doesn’t bump his head into the window glass every time he doses off. 

If Jiho finally takes a hold of Seungyoon’s head and settles it on his shoulder, it is only because he doesn’t want Seungyoon to wake up with a nice bruise on his temple. 

*

Seungyoon runs off into the washroom the moment they steps onto the platform, and Jiho just idly leans against a column, watching people moving around frantically. A few girls seem to recognize him but they are rushed off by their accompanying mothers before they can come over. 

Jiho pulls the brim of his cap lower onto his face, and leaves his spot before the girls break free from their mom and come running. He ends up in the lone convenience store at the station, being manned by an Indian guy who greets him in perfect Korean. 

He was just going to buy maybe a few drinks, but there are some ready-made bouquets displayed on the counter, so he gets one.

Seungyoon stares at Jiho wide-eyed when he walks out of the store with a big-ass flower bouquet.

“What is this?”

“I can’t just turn up at your house empty-handed!” Jiho argues.

“And I thought you wanted to give me an early Valentines gift.” Seungyoon drawls.

“I can do better than a 8,000 won bouquet for a Valentines gift.” Jiho snorts. 

“Is that a promise?” Seungyoon smirks, and Jiho rolls his eyes before asking him to lead the way before people start recognizing them. 

*

“Mom is still out, I think. She should be back before dinner.” Seungyoon says and unlocks the door to the apartment. Jiho follows him in and puts the flowers on the coffee table in the living room before taking off his coat. 

“Isn’t that shirt Prada?” Seungyoon looks over at him and asks. “Why are you wearing a 3,000 dollar shirt on an off day?”

Well.

“That’s what I always wear.” He shrugs, as nonchalantly as he could. 

Seungyoon chuckles and hands him a glass of water. “Sorry. I didn’t realize the wardrobe cost of Korea’s number one producer.”

“Not everyone can be rich and famous and hot.” Jiho raises an eyebrow and plays along. 

“Too bad you only bought us a 8,000 won bouquet, Mr. rich and famous and hot.” Seungyoon laughs and brings the flowers into the kitchen. 

He should have just worn that damn t-shirt. 

Seungyoon comes back out with a vase full of the roses, and puts it onto the table. “Mom texted. She won’t be back for another half an hour. Wanna go for a walk on the beach?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jiho nods. “Kind of a wasted trip to Busan if you don’t go to the sea, right?”

“Exactly.” Seungyoon grins at him. 

*

The sea wind is colder than Jiho expected it to be and he wraps his arms around his torso, and hops a little in his steps. 

“It’s quite empty.” He says, looking around and seeing only a couple of other people on the beach.

“It’s usually super crowded during daytime.” Seungyoon says. “Especially on new year, but I guess everyone is at dinner now.”

Jiho looks down at his watch. “It’s already 7?”

“You are not hungry at, are you?” Seungyoon asks. “We can go back and eat something light if you are.”

“No, no. I am fine.” Jiho assures him. “I ate a lot during lunch.”

“Hmm,” Seungyoon hums and picks up a small stone before throwing it into the sea. “You’d better have some space for dinner later though. Mom usually cooks for an army even if it’s just for her and me.”

*

Seungyoon wasn’t lying. Mrs. Kang really cooked a hell lot of food, and she didn’t even know beforehand that Jiho was tagging along. 

“You are always so thin.” She tsks and puts another dumpling into Seungyoon’s bowl. “Eat up.”

Seungyoon sighs but picks up the dumpling and shoves it into his mouth dutifully. 

“Jiho, do you want more rice?” She turns to ask him, and Jiho nods, holding out the bowl with both of his hand. 

“You eat so well.” She says with a big grin, and Jiho can see where Seungyoon got his smile from. “Seungyoon, you need to be more like your hyung, and eat a lot so that you have energy to work well.” 

Seungyoon mumbles a yes but glares at Jiho when she turns her back on him. Jiho just makes a show of biting a huge chunk out of his chicken. 

*

“You don’t really need to do this.” Mrs. Kang hovers around him as Jiho rinses out another bowl. 

“It’s ok.” Jiho turns his head and smiles at her. “I turn up so suddenly. This is the least I can do.”

“You are such a polite boy.” She smiles and says. Seungyoon makes a face behind her. “Let me go cut up some fruits for you.”

Seungyoon comes to lean next to the sink as soon as his mother left and elbows Jiho. “Suck-up.”

“She said my mom must be really proud.” Jiho winks at Seungyoon. “I think she likes me better than you.”

“I can’t believe I invited you out of the goodness of my heart and you stole my mom.” Seungyoon grumbles. 

Jiho just laughs and turns the faucet off. 

*

He doesn’t mean to stay so late, but he doesn’t end up leaving until it was 10 at night, and the last train back to Seoul is only a 15 minutes away. 

“You should just stay over.” Mrs. Kang says as she walks around the kitchen preparing the snack that she absolutely insists Jiho must take for his train ride back. “It’s so late.”

“I promised my mom I’d come back and sleep at home every night during the new year.” Jiho shrugs. “She likes making me breakfast over the holiday.”

She smiles over at him.

“I am glad Seungyoon meet you,” She says and puts a Tupper ware full of egg tarts into Jiho’s hand. “It’s nice to have someone other than his members looking out for him.” 

“Ah, it’s not like I take care of him that well.” Jiho splutters. “Wait. No, that’s not what I mean. I am not saying I don’t look out for him.”

“I know what you mean, dear.” She laughs, and shoos him out of the kitchen. “You should probably go if you want to catch that last train.”

“Happy new year, ma’am.” Jiho bows and says. “Thank you so much for having me over, and for all the food.” A shitload of food.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Let’s meet up for tea sometimes when I come up to Seoul.” She says, and Seungyoon looks over in wide eyes from where he is sitting on the couch. “Or you can always visit us. Even without Seungyoon.”

“Why don’t you just legally adopt him as well?” Seungyoon stomps over with a pout, looking every bit like a puppy who lost his favorite toy. 

“Thank you.” Jiho just says and puts on his coat. “I’ll give you a text if I am ever in Busan.”

“You have my mom’s number?” Seungyoon follows him out of the door and asks.

“Duh.” Jiho answers with a smirk. “Didn’t you hear? She wants me to come and visit even without you.”

“She likes taking in strays.” Seungyoon grumbles, which is ironic giving that Seungyoon is the one looking like a puppy right now. 

“No, but seriously,” Jiho says as they steps out into the hallway. “Thanks for inviting me. I really had a lot of fun.”

“You are welcome.” Seungyoon smiles. “But, are you sure you don’t want to stay? If you are worrying about imposing on us, it’s really no trouble.”

“I am sure.” Jiho assures him. 

“Hyung, just.” Seungyoon starts. Jiho stares at him, waiting for him to finish the sentence. 

“Don’t be alone for the next two days?” Seungyoon bites his bottom lip unsurely. “I know you wanted to avoid your relatives, but you can always go and see your friends or colleagues. It makes me a little sad to think you are spending the new year by yourself.”

“I…” Jiho says, not knowing why there is warmness growing in the bottom of his stomach despite the cold air outside. “I will try. Minho’s mom’s been asking me to drop by, so I can visit them.”

“Yeah, that’s good. You can always come back and see me if you are really bored.”

“I think the three-hour train ride will be really boring without you snoring into my ears.” Jiho laughs. 

Seungyoon punches him on the chest softly, and doesn’t take his hand off. Instead, he zips up Jiho’s coat until it reaches the end of the zip-line. 

“It’s quite cold. Make sure you don’t get sick.”

“Yeah, ok.” Jiho nods numbly.

“And text me when you get back to Seoul so that I know nobody tried to rob you for that 3000 dollars shirt.”

“You can’t even see the shirt when I am all bundled up like an Eskimo.” Jiho says and pulls the fur hood onto his head. “I should really go.”

“Yeah.” Seungyoon nods. “You remember where the cab stand is?”

“Go straight and turn right.” Jiho answers and presses the elevator down button. “Get inside. You ask me not to catch a cold, but you are the one in a thin sweater out here.”

Seungyoon shrugs and walks backwards down the hallway. “I mean it though. Text me when you reach home.”

“Yes, sir.” Jiho gives Seungyoon a mock salute, and watches him go back into the apartment after a small wave. 

God. He hopes he is feeling all these uneasy thumps inside his heart because all the fried food has given him heartburns or something.

*

Jiho goes down to Yongin the next day to visit Minho’s family and sends a selfie with him and Minho to Seungyoon. 

Seungyoon sends back a picture of him with both of his thumbs up and smiling widely with his eyes closed.

If Jiho saves that picture onto his phone, well, it is nobody’s business but his.


	2. Chapter 2

Jiho really needs to invest in an actual coffee machine so that he doesn’t have to come down to this crappy vending machine on the ground floor every time he needs a caffeine shot. 

He can go to the convenience shop two blocks away, but it is freezing tonight and he does not want to walk. So, the shitty-ass weak coffee will have to do. 

When he walks back into the studio, gloved hands curled around the plastic coffee cup, Jihoon is enthusiastically saying something to Jiyoung who looks like he can’t look any less interested. 

“You done with the second verse?” Jiho asks, and Jihoon jumps, looking way too guilty. 

Something smells fishy.

“Yeah,” Jiyoung says, and turns his chair around so he is not facing Jiho anymore. “You wanna have a listen?”

“Sure,” Jiho drawls, giving a skeptical glare at the both of them. 

The verse is not bad, an improvement from when they started, but Jiho still wants to tweak a few things. 

“I actually need to leave in a few minutes,” Jihoon says and Jiho turns around to glare at him. 

“You said you can do recording overnight!”

“I will do it the whole day tomorrow.” Jihoon says. “I only have the overlay vocals left.”

“Which is why you can just finish it tonight.” Jiho presses. “No need to drag this to tomorrow.”

“Actually,” Jiyoung puts up his hand. “I need to go as well.”

“Ok, what are you two bastards planning?” Jiho folds his arms and asks in his sternest tone, the one that makes even Taeil and Jaehyo behave. “Don’t think I didn’t see you two conspiring.” 

“Nothing,” Jihoon replies, absolutely not looking Jiho in the eyes. “We’re just tired.”

“I came from the same rehearsal as you.” Jiho points at Jihoon, and says. “And Jiyoung hyung came here at 8. It’s only 11.”

“I promise we will get everything by tomorrow.” Jihoon says, starting to put his things into his backpack. “We just need to go.”

“Did you see a ghost when I was away or something?” Jiho asks, watching the two traitors packing their things.

Seriously. 

“It is for your own good, hyung.” Jihoon says seriously, and Jiyoung nods along enthusiastically. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”

“My own good?” Jiho parrots. “Jihoon, what the fuck?”

“Bye!” Jihoon yells and dashes out of the studio with a silent Jiyoung in tow. 

“What the fuck is wrong with that kid?” Jiho says to the suddenly empty studio. Jihoon knows how much Jiho doesn’t like it when people do not keep their promises, and he won’t even tell him what is going on, the fucker.

Jiho chugs down his coffee, cursing at the hot liquid that burns his tongue and dials their manager. If even manager hyungs do not know what is going on, Jiho is going to drive himself down to the dorm and get Pyo Jihoon to explain himself. 

Someone knocks on the door as manager hyung picks up the phone. Jiho crosses over to the door, thinking it is Jihoon coming back because he was just playing some lame prank on Jiho like he has nothing better to do with his time. 

But, it is Seungyoon, standing at the doorway, covered up from head to toe with a huge black bag in his hand. 

“Eh,” Jiho says into the phone as manager hyung starts asking if Jiho is there. “Sorry, hyung. I think I dialed it wrongly.”

Manager hyung mutters something before hanging up, and Jiho pockets his phone before his brain kicks in and he remembers to pull open the door a little wider so Seungyoon can come in. 

“Hi,” Jiho says as Seungyoon walks into the studio, and puts the bag in his hand onto the table. 

“Sorry,” Seungyoon turns and says, taking off his mask. The tip of his nose is red, and for some reason, that’s the only thing Jiho can focus on. “I am not late, am I?”

“Late for what?” Jiho blinks dumbly. 

“Didn’t Jihoon tell you?” Seungyoon asks, looking around the tiny room. “Actually, where is Jihoon? I called him because your phone is off. I told him I am about to bring you supper and he said you both were at the studio.”

“He did?” Jiho raises an eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” Seungyoon nods, looking like a lost kid. “I even packed more food so all of us can eat. He’s not here?”

No, he is not. He is probably halfway across Seoul, laughing over his little scheme with Jiyoung.

 _“It’s for your own good, hyung”_. Really?

Well, Jiho is going to give half of Pyo Jihoon's lines in their new single to someone else. Yukwon is not bad at rapping these days, and he never tries to set up Jiho with anyone because he is a good friend. 

“I really thought he would have told you.” Seungyoon is saying, looking a little dejected. 

Have you ever looked into your puppy’s eyes when you turned your car into the street where the vet clinic is on? That is what seeing Kang Seungyoon sad feels like. Like you are the worst human being ever known to the mankind. 

“He had to leave very urgently.” Jiho says and leans forward to take Seungyoon’s coat from him, and hangs it on the coat rack. “He probably said something before he left. I wasn’t listening.”

“I see,” Seungyoon nods and starts taking out the mountain of containers from his bag. “I probably brought too much food then.”

“He’ll be back in the morning.” And if he isn’t, Jiho’s foot is going to meet Jihoon’s flat ass. “And he’s the kind of person who’d happily eat leftover for breakfast. Don’t worry.”

“Alright,” Seungyoon nods, looking a little brighter (thank god) and sits down on the couch. 

“You didn’t have to bring these though.” Jiho says, sitting down next to him and gesturing over the containers occupying his small coffee table. “The weather is really bad tonight.”

“Mom gave me all these when I got back.” Seungyoon says and puts a pair of chopsticks into Jiho’s hands. He doesn’t even have to ask if Jiho is hungry like he knows Jiho too well. “And she told me to share these with you so here I am, sharing.” 

“Hmm,” Jiho mumbles. “I should call and thank her.”

Seungyoon glares at him a little, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he leans over to the bag and pulls out a couple cans of beers. 

“Hey,” Jiho says, a little worried. Seungyoon never drinks any kind of alcoholic beverages with supper because he says they make him stay up, and plus, Jiho is absolutely sure that Seungyoon’s diet is supposed to have no beer or the omelet roll he is stuffing his face with. “Everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine.” Seungyoon shrugs and takes a sip. Seungyoon is a good liar, really, there were efforts made, but Jiho grew up with a brother only a couple years older than him, and Park Kyung. He knows when he sees someone is trying to cover something up. 

“What’s up?” Jiho asks, turning so that he is facing Seungyoon completely. “First, you went radio silent on me for days and now you turned up with all these food and beer. Plus, aren’t you supposed to be having schedules?”

“I have one tomorrow evening and a couple over the next few days.” Seungyoon says, not looking at Jiho. “And I am sorry I didn’t call or text. I was busy.” 

“Hey,” Jiho says, putting his hand on Seungyoon’s to still his ever moving chopsticks. “It’s the pressure, isn’t it? The comeback and everything.”

Seungyoon looks up at him, but doesn’t respond. So, Jiho takes it as a silent confirmation. 

“What are you doing here, Seungyoon?” Jiho asks and Seungyoon flinches a little. 

“You know that I don’t mean I don’t want you here,” Jiho adds in. “I mean, what are you looking for? Because you know I am not the best person to, I don’t know, give out advice or hug and pat you on the back. I am not really known for my empathy.”

“I know that.” Seungyoon smiles. “I just want you.”

“Me?” Jiho blurbs out. 

“I know you are not going to just tell me everything’s gonna be fine or whatever, but you understand.” Seungyoon says, packing a shit load of meaning into his words. “I mean, I can talk to Minho or anyone else and they won’t get the full weight of it, but you do.” 

Jiho does. The pressure, the expectations and the disappointment, the eyes and the fingers, aimed at all of them, but he is at the front line. They are. He and Seungyoon are the kind of people who are at the front line and who have to take the heavier shots. 

It is not fair, but it is what it is. Jiho has stopped crying about it way back. 

“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Jiho says, only half way joking. 

“Do you know what I tell myself when I get in too deep?” Seungyoon asks, leaning his head on the back of the couch, his hand still clasped in between Jiho’s. “I think about you and say to myself I can do it too.” 

“That is,” Jiho says, honestly stunned. “I am gonna be honest. That is way too much responsibility for me.”

“I am not putting any responsibility on you,” Seungyoon smiles at him and gives a little squeeze to his hand. “Just be here. I just need you to distract me a little. Tell me about the songs you made and all the shits you’ve been up to. God, I’d even take all those lame puns you make.”

“You come into my studio,” Jiho laughs and lays his head on the back of the couch, right next to Seungyoon’s. “And you have the nerve to tell me my puns are lame?”

Seungyoon grins at him. At this distance, his scrunched up cheeks look like a pair of snowballs and Jiho resists the urge to run his fingers over them. “You know they are lame. That’s why you keep making them.”

“Lies and slanders,” Jiho tsks. 

Seungyoon rubs his thumb over Jiho’s.

“Wanna make a song?” Jiho asks. “Some angry loud song with curses and shits that would get us banned from the idol industry if we ever released it?”

Seungyoon’s grin impossibly gets brighter. “Yeah, ok. But only if I get to play the guitar.”

“All yours,” Jiho points to the guitar hanging on the wall of studio. Seungyoon squeezes his hand once more before letting go and bouncing over to where the guitar is. 

Ok, so maybe Jihoon will get to keep his part in the songs after all.

*

They made a track that is about 22 seconds long and composed entirely of Seungyoon playing random guitar chords and Jiho screaming into the microphone. 

Which is as expected. 

Every time they say they’d make a track together, they get distracted and end up with nothing. Jiho remembers the one time they got together under the same promise of music and ended up driving down to DongDaeMun night market to get warm sake and a monopoly board because Seungyoon said he hadn’t played monopoly for years. 

Jiho cheated and Seungyoon didn’t talk to him for days, but that’s beyond the point.

The point is Jiho has one of his good wine bottles out (because warm beer is disgusting) and it is about halfway gone. Seungyoon is besides himself laughing at the playback of their masterpiece and Jiho is feeling like he has never been more … content, for the lack of a better word. 

“Let’s make a music video for it too.” Seungyoon announces and twirls to face Jiho, almost bumping his hips into the nearby chair. Jiho steadies him with a hand on his waist. Seungyoon has never been much of a drinker. 

“All 22 seconds of it?” Jiho laughs. 

“All 22 seconds of it.” Seungyoon nods and agrees. He smells like grapes and Jiho’s hand soap. “It’d be a hit.”

“If you say so,” Jiho raises an eyebrow. “Are you going to pick that up?” He points at Seungyoon’s phone which has been ringing for a couple of times now. 

“It’s just Seunghoon hyung.” Seungyoon shrugs. “He probably wants to know when I am coming back.” 

“So? Tell him then.” Jiho reaches out to pick up the phone, but Seungyoon is quicker and grabs at his hand before he can pick it up. 

“I don’t,” Seungyoon says, looking up at him. “I don’t want to go home. Not tonight at least. Please.” 

“Hey,” Jiho says, all forgotten about the ringing phone. Seungyoon is rarely like this. He is always so strong and confident despite Jiho wanting to baby him all the times. But right now, he looks like he is exhausted and unsure, like he is as young as he should be. Jiho feels like he should be asking more and figuring out whatever Seungyoon is going through, but he is not that person. He is good with people, but not emotionally, and Seungyoon does not look like he wants to talk. 

And Jiho knows there are concerns and responsibilities and consequences, but Seungyoon is looking at him with wide eye, and Jiho has always been a sucker for those. 

“You can stay with me tonight,” he says instead, bringing up his palm to cup Seungyoon’s jaw. Seungyoon’s skin is a little rough there, traces of small fine hair tickling Jiho’s palm. 

“Ok,” Seungyoon nods. “Just tonight. I promise.” 

“Alright, but let me talk to Seunghoon or someone. Just to let them know where you are so they won’t worry.” 

“Ok,” Seungyoon nods and leans forward until his head is in the groove of Jiho’s neck and his hands are around Jiho’s waist. 

Jiho stays stilled for a little before rubbing Seungyoon’s back with one hand, and picking up his phone with another to call Seunghoon.

Seunghoon, as expected, is worried, and it takes a while for Jiho to assure him that Seungyoon is fine, just a little drunk, and he’d make sure Seungyoon get back to their dorm by morning. Seunghoon does not sound entirely convinced but he ends the call with a “Take care of him” so that’s that. 

“Do you want to go home now?” Jiho asks. “I mean, my house.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Seungyoon blinks and nods like someone just boosted his brain up. “Let me clean up first.”

“You don’t need to. Just leave it.” Jiho says, but Seungyoon is already picking up their plates and empty wine glasses. 

“Weren’t you complaining about getting flies and ants in your studio a few weeks back?” Seungyoon turns and smiles at him. “It’d take like five minutes.” 

“Fine,” Jiho mumbles and holds out the trash bag opened so Seungyoon can put in all the rubbish he collected. “We can finish the wine bottle at home.”

“I haven’t seen jjo-ddong in so long!” Seungyoon exclaims, suddenly smiling wide. 

Jiho snorts. “That’s your ulterior motive, isn’t it? You just want to see my dog.” 

“Duh.” Seungyoon pokes the tip of his tongue out at him. 

“Don’t you have like 15 cats and dogs at your house?” Jiho mutters, amused despite of himself. 

Seungyoon laughs and then stops himself. “Are you expecting someone?” He turns and asks. 

“Huh?” Jiho blinks. “It’s 2 in the morning. Who would I be expecting?”

“Someone’s unlocking the door,” Seungyoon points towards the closed door, and when Jiho concentrates, he can hear ticking of the locks and chimes of keys. 

Shit. There are only a handful of people with keys to the studio – not even everyone in Block B has the key (mostly because they don’t want it) – and Jiho has a pretty good idea who could be the only one that would be using it at 2 in the morning. 

He was hoping he’d be wrong, so he is disappointed but not unsurprised when Joon Young crashes in through the door, barely steady and smelling like he mistook a vodka bottle for his cologne bottle. 

The fresh bruises on his face are new though. 

“Jesus Christ, what happened?” Jiho swears and steps over the table so he can reach to Joon Young before he crashes down to the floor, and injures himself more. 

“What’s up, baby?” Joon Young grins and exclaims, wrapping his arms around Jiho. 

“Get off me.” Jiho groans and pushes him off. “You got into a drunk bar fight and then came here? Seriously?”

“My mom hasn’t left since she came down for the new year.” Joon Young says, and clumsily tries to take off his shoes. “I went to your place but you weren’t there.”

“You could have called first, asshole.” Jiho grunts. 

“My phone’s dead.” Joon Young pouts, and Jiho massages his head. Drunken crashes are nothing new to him, but seriously, timing. 

“Hey, you’ve got company!” Joon Young exclaims, as if he is, for the first time, sensing another human being occupying the same room as him. 

Seungyoon bows at him, a bit awkwardly, and greets him.

Joon Young breaks into a grin. “Ah, it’s Seungwoo.”

“Seungyoon.” Jiho sighs and corrects him. “Are you going to crash here?” 

“Yeah,” Joon Young shrugs, apparently all forgotten about Seungyoon. “Where’s your first aid kid? I need to put something for my face. The coordi hyung is going to bitch in the morning anyway, but at least, I won’t be in too much pain.”

“It’s in the washroom. I’ll get it for you.” Jiho says and pushes Joon Young towards the couch. “Sit here and don’t break anything.” 

“Just give me a couple of minutes, yeah?” Jiho whispers to Seungyoon who is still standing still next to the coffee table. “He’s always like this.” 

“Actually,” Seungyoon grabs at his arm. “I think I’ll just go off first.” 

“Go where?” Jiho asks. “I thought you didn’t want to go home.” 

“I was a bit drunk earlier,” Seungyoon shakes his head, smile small. “I shouldn’t have said that.” 

“Hey, come here.” Jiho says and pulls Seungyoon into the small washroom attached. It is not that far from the main room, but it’d give them some illusion of privacy. 

“I just need a few minutes to make sure he’s okay.” Jiho says to Seungyoon after locking the door to the washroom. “He’d probably just fall asleep soon.” 

“It’s really fine, hyung.” Seungyoon says. “I’ll just grab a cab.”

Jiho can hear Joon Young crashing into something outside, complete with a string of swears and an unmistakable puking sound. This might take more than a few minutes. 

“4851,” he turns to Seungyoon and says. 

“What?” Seungyoon asks dumbly. 

“The passcode to my apartment. You go back first while I make sure the idiot doesn’t kill himself in my studio. I’ll come out as soon as I can.”

“Hyung,” Seungyoon starts. 

“Don’t argue,” Jiho says, pulling out his leader’s voice – if it is good enough to work on Kyung, it’ll work on anyone. “Go first, and make sure you don’t burn my place down before I come.” 

Seungyoon laughs, but does not argue back. 

“I am sorry about this,” Jiho says to Seungyoon as he unlocks the door and steps out of the washroom. “I really had no idea he’d crash in tonight.”

“I know.” Seungyoon smiles at him. “I’ll see you later.” 

“Yeah.” Jiho nods. “And don’t feed jjo-ddong anything no matter how much she whines at you! She’s not going to sleep if she eats at this hour.”

Seungyoon mutters back a mumbled yes as Jiho goes through the cabinet in the washroom, hoping his first aid kit is not expired yet. He can hear Seungyoon saying goodbye to Joon Young out there, and Joon Young vaguely grunting back. 

He picks up a couple of painkillers as well and comes out of the washroom to find Joon Young lying face-down on the couch. At least, he seems to remember to puke into the trash can – thank god for small miracles. 

“Yah, get up.” Jiho kicks at Joon Young’s shin until he starts to grunt and move into a slightly sitting position. 

“Be gentle with me.” Joon Young mumbles without even opening his eyes. Jiho kicks him once more for good measures. 

“You wish. Here, take these pills and let me take a look at your face.” 

Joon Young dry swallows the pills and turns so he is facing Jiho. They are not that bad, really. There’s barely any cut. Jiho has seen him in worse cases. 

“Did you get caught by anyone?” Jiho asks, putting some ointment on the biggest cut near Joon Young’s eyebrows. “Am I going to read about your fight all over Naver in the morning?”

“Hopefully not.” Joon Young hisses when Jiho presses in on his wound a little too harshly. “It was quite dark and I am pretty sure the dude that punched me is a tourist.”

“Pretty sure.” Jiho snorts. “You don’t even know who you were fighting with? Actually, why were you in a fight in the first place?”

“Is it bad if I say I can’t remember?” Joon Young grins. “Pretty sure it started with a girl though.”

“When does it not?” Jiho rolls his eyes. 

“Could be worse,” Joon Young shrugs and Jiho gets up from the couch. He should probably get some ice packs for Joon Young to put on his face. “I could be fighting over a boy.” 

“You shouldn’t be fighting over anything.” Jiho says, distracted. Looks like he does not have any ice in the fridge. He takes out a chilled coke can instead and hands it over to Joon Young. “Put this on your eye before it starts to swell.” 

“Emmanuel Rouget?” Joon Young takes the coke can from him, and says. 

“What?”

“The wine.” Joon Young explains, pointing at the wine bottle Seungyoon forgets to take. “Expensive shit, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t know. I got it as a gift.” It wasn’t. Jiho got it a couple of months earlier, mostly because he is curious to know what a thousands dollar wine tastes like. 

He does not know why he is lying right now. 

“Hmm,” Joon Young just hums and lies back down. “You can go home. I’ll just lie here and try to pray my incoming hangover away.”

“When does that ever work?” Jiho laughs. “You sure you are not going to like die in my studio?”

“I am going to live to a hundred years old and annoy you until the days’ end. Don’t worry.” Joon Young says, and Jiho snorts, picking up his backpack.

“Lock the door when you leave. There are some leftover food in the fridge if you are hungry.” 

“Be careful, Jiho.” Joon Young says and Jiho looks up from where he is finding some space for the wine bottle in his backpack. 

“Careful of what?”

“Remember what I said to you before we start fucking?”

“You told me that you are not going to be my anything anytime. Basically, you declared us fuck-buddies. Yes, I remember. Real romantic.” Jiho snorts. 

“I told you that because it was practical.” Joon Young says, tone serious, more serious than Jiho has ever heard him, actually. “I wish I could be whatever you need me to be, but I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“Is there a point to this conversation, hyung?” Jiho asks, discomfort starting to form inside his mind. It is almost like Joon Young is trying to talk about _feelings_. 

“We have so much to lose is what I am saying.” Joon Young carries on. “It is difficult, and I want you to have everything you want, but be careful.”

“You are drunk, hyung.” Jiho mumbles. “Just sleep it off.”

Joon Young does not reply anything, so Jiho just gives him a quiet “Goodnight,” and slips out of the studio. 

He sits in his car for a minute, trying to take a breather, and asks himself why everyone around him seems to think that he is in love with Seungyoon. 

*

The house is pitch dark when Jiho opens the door and walks in. For a second, he thinks Seungyoon has gone back to his place, despite what he told Jiho. He does not have enough time to decipher why he feels oddly disappointed before he notices the faint light coming from under the closed bedroom door. 

Seungyoon does not move from where he is lying on Jiho’s bed when Jiho pushes the bedroom door open. Jiho can see the headphones on Seungyoon’s head and Jiho’s eye mask on his face under the faded light of his bedside lamp. Jjo-ddong is curled next to Seungyoon’s belly, head butting into Seungyoon’s biceps, and she is not supposed to be on the bed because she has a habit of chewing sheets up in her sleep but Jiho cannot find any strength to take her off the bed. 

He slips in next to Seungyoon – the space is small and his left limbs are hanging off the bed, but Jiho does not move and stares at the ceiling, tracing his own intakes of breath. 

Seungyoon stirs next to him, and freezes for a moment, before rolling straight up.

“You are here?” Seungyoon asks, blinking and blindly taking off his headphones. “I must have fallen asleep.”

Jjo-ddong whines and sniffs at the air before leaping over Seungyoon to jump right onto Jiho’s chest. Jiho lets out an oomph but lets her lick his jaw and scratches behind her ear.

“Guess she misses you.” Seungyoon grins and shifts to give Jiho more space. 

“She’s just playing me to get treats.” Jiho laughs and ignores her head butts. “You look tired. Get more sleep.”

“Hmm,” Seungyoon hums and lies his head back down on the pillow. Jiho is instantly aware of the space, or the lack thereof, between them. “Your eye mask is really comfortable.”

“Joon Young hyung got it for me from Beijing,” Jiho says, not really sure why he is offering this information.

“He seems nice.” Seungyoon says uncommittedly. “He ok?”

“Yeah,” Jiho answers. “He’s done this a couple of times before. He’ll just wake up tomorrow with a headache and a few bruises.” 

Seungyoon does not say anything. Jjo-ddong, upon realizing that Jiho is not giving into her doggy-lick bribes, abandons him and trots out of the room, hopefully to her bed, and not trying to wake the entire complex up by scratching and whining at the front door. 

The silence is deafeningly loud, and Jiho has never been good with silence – his thoughts are always jumbled inside his head and he needs as much chaos in his surrounding to offset the multiplex of things going through his head. He starts pulling out one of the new beats he is working on – one tick, two tick – maybe he should get up and note it down before he forgets. 

“What are you thinking about?” Seungyoon’s voice breaks through the rhythm in his brain, and Jiho blinks, the beats and notes slipping away from his stream of thoughts.

“Stuff,” Jiho answers intelligently. “Music, you know.” 

“Your brain never shuts down, does it?” Seungyoon turns his head and says. Jiho knows he turns his head because he can feel the slight brush of air across his cheek with Seungyoon’s exhale, and half of him wants to turn to face Seungyoon, just to see how close they are, but the other half of him does not.

“Pretty sure I’ll die if my brain shuts down.” He answers instead, without looking at Seungyoon. There are a couple of dirty patches on his ceiling. Hopefully nothing health-hazard-ish. 

“You know I am learning English,” Seungyoon says. “My teacher gave me this book to read. Gone with the Wind.”

“Why not just watch the movie?” Jiho snorts.

“That is why your English teacher hates you.” Seungyoon says, and Jiho can’t even deny it. 

“Anyway, I am almost done with it. I moved very slow because there are a lot of vocabularies I don’t know, but you know, I am making progress, and there is one quote that stuck with me.” Seungyoon continues. “ _I’ll think about it tomorrow._ Like, every time the main character gets into some hardship, she keeps pushing the problem away and says she’ll think about it tomorrow. At first, it frustrates me so much because that’s not how it works, like your problems don’t go away today just because you stop thinking about it. But, I am starting to understand what she means.”

“You want to think about your problems tomorrow?” Jiho asks, finally turning his head to look at Seungyoon in the eyes. Seungyoon is staring at him, eyes slanted and focused. 

“Some … things,” Seungyoon shrugs. “They are out of my control, I guess. I can’t do anything about them, so maybe there is no point in worrying about them today. Maybe I can do something about them tomorrow, and I will just worry then.”

“Am I one of those things?” Jiho asks, unabashedly staring at Seungyoon. He knows Seungyoon knows Jiho is staring at him, but the darkness around them gives him a false illustration of discretion and Jiho takes it anyway. “Something you will just worry about tomorrow?”

“I don’t know,” Seungyoon mutters, voice barely coming out, but Jiho is close enough to understand him. “I know you are something out of my control though.” 

“Maybe you should just …” Jiho says, putting a hand under his cheek. If he extends his little finger, it’d be touching Seungyoon’s cheek. “worry about me, us, tomorrow.” 

“Maybe,” Seungyoon nods and inches closer. 

Jiho is not holding his breath when they kiss, not because it is not something he is expecting, but because it feels so natural. Like this is what they do. Like it’s a natural progression of where they have been, and where they were heading towards.

Seungyoon tastes like red wine and Jiho’s toothpaste, something that is not exactly Jiho, but similar enough. Jiho sighs into the kiss, and gets his free hand to cup Seungyoon on the jaw, fingers tickling on the edge of Seungyoon’s earlobe. 

Jiho is not a particular big person, but he sure feels like one when he covers Seungyoon’s body with his; his left leg wedged in between Seungyoon’s. Seungyoon’s hands are fisted in the collar of Jiho’s hoodie, and Seungyoon is breathing out these little grasps of breath and Jiho makes him like this – breathless and soft, and it makes Jiho feels warm and content – like a good nap on a indulgent windy afternoon. 

Jiho is waiting for Seungyoon to say something when they break the kiss, but Seungyoon is just staring at him, lips red and wet, and hair messy, like he walks right out of Jiho’s wet dreams and Jiho has to lean down to kiss him again. If he wants to protest, Seungyoon has had plenty of times, and by the way Seungyoon’s tongue is licking his way into Jiho’s mouth, Jiho can tell Seungyoon’s mind is probably the furthest away from protesting. 

“I don’t know what I am doing,” Seungyoon says, barely loud enough to be a whisper, and Jiho does not know if he means the kissing part or the “kissing-Jiho” part. He wants to say something, asks Seungyoon what he wants to be doing, but Seungyoon looks like he is about two breaths away from falling asleep, and Jiho is no different. It’s like someone is trying to pull his eyelids down, and his consciousness is starting to get slippery. 

“It’s ok,” Jiho says nonetheless, putting his lips on Seungyoon’s cheek, and whispering words into the soft skin there. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow,” Seungyoon echoes. His hands fisted in Jiho’s shirt loosens up and Seungyoon shifts until his head is buried in the crook of Jiho’s neck, his breath tickling past Jiho’s Adam’s apple. 

Jiho lets out a breath he doesn’t know he was holding in, and puts an arm around Seungyoon’s body. 

He will think about this … all this … tomorrow.

*

Morning comes sooner than Jiho would have liked. The weight of sleep is still heavy on his head when his alarm shrills into his ears, and he shocks himself into consciousness. 

It takes a moment for him to focus on himself, and realizes that, he is in fact, alone.

It’s sometimes funny how you are not even aware of the expectations you have yourself, until they are let down, and you are left surprisingly empty. 

Jiho drags himself out of bed because he has a photo shoot in like two hours, and he also needs to drop by at the studio to make sure Jihoon is back and working, and Joon Young is not dead yet. 

“Morning.” Jiho blinks up at the voice to see Seungyoon standing in front of the stove where Jiho’s one and only cooking pot is boiling. “You don’t have anything except ramen and Kimchi, so I am just boiling some eggs.” 

“Where do you get the eggs?” Jiho mumbles. Funnily enough, this is not the first thing he wants to be saying to a guy who he just made out with a couple of hours back. 

“They were in the fridge.” Seungyoon answers.

Jiho does not remember buying them any time recent. 

“They’ve probably gone bad.” Jiho says, and Seungyoon looks down at the boiling pot sadly. “I’m gonna grab some breakfast on the way to studio. Wanna tag along?”

Seungyoon shakes his head softly. “I should really go back. We have some photo shoots scheduled.” 

“Okay,” Jiho does not protest, and vaguely gestures towards the bathroom. “I’m just going to go and wash up.”

Seungyoon is still there, sitting on the couch in the living room when Jiho comes back out, a little more refreshed and in control of his brain. 

“Thought you’d have already left.” Jiho says, patting his face dry. 

“I was gonna,” Seungyoon shrugs. “But, I don’t know, feel kind of shitty to just leave.”

“I guess.” Jiho nods, and sits down next to Seungyoon. “So?”

“So?” Seungyoon raises an eyebrow back at him. “You said last night we’d talk about us tomorrow.”

“Well, technically,” Jiho drawls. “That was like four hours ago, so we are nowhere near tomorrow yet.” 

Seungyoon looks at him with genuine amusement in his eyes like he is fond of Jiho deliberately being a little shit. It is not an unfamiliar feeling because him being a little shit is what makes Jiho endearing to a lot of people.

But Jiho still smirks inside and nudges Seungyoon’s toes with his own. Seungyoon does not move away, and he does not move away either when Jiho leans forward and takes Seungyoon’s lips between his. 

“I should really go,” Seungyoon says, which is not really convincing at all given the way he is gripping at Jiho’s biceps, and sighing into Jiho’s mouth. “I can’t turn up at a photo shoot looking all … flushed.” 

“Hmm,” Jiho hums. “Flushed looks good on you.” 

“You know,” Seungyoon laughs, “Every time you praises me for my looks, I can’t help but feel like you are just doing it to indirectly praise yourself.”

“That’s because I am,” Jiho chuckles, and Seungyoon punches him softly on the arm before pushing him away.

“I really need to go. My phone’s been vibrating non-stop.” He says, looking as regretful as Jiho is feeling, and yes, Jiho needs to start moving too if he wants to actually start doing something more productive and less feeling-involved this morning. 

“Yeah, sure,” Jiho nods, backing up a little so Seungyoon can stand up, and start putting on his coat. “I’ll call you.” 

“You’d better,” Seungyoon says, and hesitates a little before leaning down to give Jiho a short peck on the lips. “I’ll walk myself out.”

Jiho gives a mumbled yes, and watches Seungyoon gives him a last smile before rushing through the doorway, leaving the door closed with a beep. 

Jiho sighs out loud and lets himself flop back on the couch. Jjo-ddong jumps on him and starts nudging at his chin. 

“What am I doing, sweetie?” Jiho lifts her up to her indignant whines and asks her. 

She just barks at Jiho and wiggles a little, which to him sounds like she is saying he is being hopeless. 

He is.

*

They filmed their music video in Busan, and Seungyoon’s mom dropped by with enough food to feed not only the seven of them, but a couple of their staff. Taeil, because he does not know what is going on half the time, dead-ass thought she was one of Jiho’s ajumma fans until she started asking Jiho if he can take some of the dried meat and Kimchi back to Seoul for Seungyoon. 

Jiho says yes, even though he is dreading to face Seungyoon a little bit. They haven’t seen each other, not since the night when ... things happened. Sure, they talked. On kakao, and sometimes on SNS, and even a phone call here and there. But, from the way they both expertly danced around the glaring topic of "them", you’d have thought they are the main dancers of their respective groups.

Jiho is not proud of it, but he has never been known to be emotionally forthcoming, and it is all fine and dandy with him if Seungyoon also doesn’t want to talk about it.

He does miss Seungyoon though. A lot.

*

He ends up at Winner’s dorm at 1 in the morning because he has no time to drop by the next day with all the scheduled interviews and come back promo video shoots, and Winner has been having their late night concert practice. So Jiho just decides to pop in for a little while right after he gets back from Busan, with two handfuls of carefully packed boxes.

“I keep telling her not to bother,” Seungyoon says as he takes all the boxes into the kitchen, handing one box with Kimchi to Seunghoon, who happily puts half of it into his ramen bowl.

“When did that ever work with moms?” Jiho snorts, and steps back a little as Seunghoon’s skeleton dog starts growling at him. 

“I am going to go before your dog bites my shin off,” he says to Seunghoon, who just waves him off. 

“He just wants to remind you who’s the alpha of the house. He’s harmless really.” 

Jiho would like to be his own jury on this one. 

“Tell Minho I said hi,” He said to Seungyoon. Apparently, he had gone to bed like some kind of grandpa. Who even slept at 1 in the morning?

“Will do,” Seungyoon says, and zips his hoodie up. “Actually, let me walk you out.”

If Seunghoon thinks it is weird for Seungyoon to walk Jiho, who has been to their place for a couple hundred times, out, he doesn’t say anything. Which, immediately, puts him above the likes of Kyung, and Minho. They would never have let Jiho hear the end of it.

Jiho follows Seungyoon out of the house and into the lift car. It doesn’t feel that different from when he was back in Busan at Seungyoon’s place actually.

“How have you been?” He asks Seungyoon because he doesn’t know what else to say. “Busy?”

“You know I am busy,” Seungyoon replies. His voice is not sharp or sarcastic or anything biting. He just sounds like he normally does, but Jiho still feels guilty.

“Sorry, I should have come to see you or something, but I,” Jiho starts.

“Hyung, we are both busy,” Seungyoon laughs. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t want you to think that I was, you know, avoiding you,” Jiho answers as the lift door opens and Seungyoon steps towards the opposite direction from where the entrance door is. “Where are you going?”

“There’s a little balcony out at the back,” Seungyoon says. “We usually go there if we want to talk.”

“You want to talk?” Jiho asks, caught off-guard.

Seungyoon stops in his steps, and looks a little unsure for the first time tonight. “I thought… no, of course, you just got back from Busan. You must be tired.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Jiho cuts him off. “I was just a little surprised. Let’s go… talk.”

Seungyoon looks at him for a couple of seconds. “Are things going to be this awkward between us from now on?”

“Things are not awkward,” Jiho says, feeling entirely and undeniably awkward. Seungyoon gives him a knowing look. 

Jiho sighs. “I don’t know, dude.”

Seungyoon just shakes his head, and grabs Jiho by the arm, dragging him towards the tiny open-space balcony at the back of the building. 

“Is this where you guys sneak off to have a drink?”

“A smoke,” Seungyoon corrects him. “For Minho, anyway. We mostly came down here to clear our head. The trash room is just right next door and sometimes, it smells really bad so nobody comes here.”

“How romantic,” Jiho comments and steps away a little from the said trash room. “You want to talk?”

“I thought you might want to, I don’t know, clear things between us?”

“I thought things are fine the way they are.” Jiho says.

“Maybe for you,” Seungyoon says, pursing his lips and Jiho does not really have a good feeling about this. “But I need clarification, hyung. I don’t do well with uncertainty. It just makes nervous and scared.”

“So, no more ‘think-about-it-tomorrow’ then?” Jiho asks.

“We are way past tomorrow.” Seungyoon reminds him. 

“Technically, today is today, and tomorrow has not yet come so,” Jiho says, just to be a little shit, and Seungyoon gives him a resigned look. 

“Sorry.,” Jiho mutters. “Look, I don’t know what you want from me. I haven’t been in a relationship for a while, years, in fact. I don’t know how to do this.”

“Is that what you want?” Seungyoon asks softly. “A relationship?”

“Do you?” Jiho shoots back. “I know, okay. I, of all people, know we can’t just forget about who we are and everything around us, but do you want it? At the very primal instinct, do you want to be with me? Because I do.”

Because he does. He wants to be with Seungyoon. Like he was with his first and only serious girlfriend, way back when he first debuted. He wants Seungyoon to be the first person he calls in the morning, and the person he calls when he wants to go somewhere and do something new, or the person he goes to when he has any silver of free time, or the person who he has to hold on like a lifeline in his mind through the hours and hours of unrelenting trainings and schedules and praises and hate.

And, now that he thinks about it, Seungyoon has already ticked off like 75% of that list.

Dammit. Kyung was right. 

“I like you,” Jiho says, a declaration to himself, as much to Seungyoon. “In case that wasn’t clear.” 

Seungyoon looks like he is halfway between laughing and hiding his face in shyness, which is unfairly adorable, and Jiho cannot deal with cuteness, ok? He can act disgustingly cute himself when it is needed, but he cannot deal with anyone else acting endearing. He can only deal with cuteness that makes you want to punch something’s face off. 

“This feels very elementary school,” he comments awkwardly. 

“Thank you,” Seungyoon says, wrapping his arms around Jiho’s neck. Jiho suddenly does not know what to do with his hands, so he just half settles, half grips Seungyoon’s waist. If he can see themselves right now, he is pretty sure they’d look like a badly acted scene in a cliché K-drama. 

“For what?” he asks back, and Seungyoon turns his head a little before smiling at him.

“I’ve told myself over and over that you are just going to walk away. Maybe you’d just pretend that night never happened, or maybe you’d ask me to pretend it never happened. And, I mean, I understand, that might be the smartest thing to do, but I am really, really happy that you are asking me to do that."

“I am not that smart anyway,” Jiho shrugs. 

“You are the smartest person I know,” Seungyoon easily says back. “That’s why I’m grateful. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you leave, but I am really glad you didn’t. Because I really want you here. With me.” 

And how does one even respond to something like that? Except for pulling Seungyoon in and kissing him.

Jiho likes this new trend – kissing Seungyoon when he is left speechless or has nothing to offer. And the fact that he can actually do it. Isn’t that amazing on its own?

“So,” Jiho asks, breaking the kiss a little, just enough to speak. “Relationship?”

Seungyoon bites his lower lip, and blinks up at Jiho. “Ok.”

Jiho wasn’t wrong about this feeling like elementary school. He gets his first “girlfriend” by asking her if she wants to be his girlfriend on MSN and she says ‘yes’ back with a bunch of alphabet stickers. Those were the times. Although back then, there wasn’t as much kissing involved, and to be honest, Jiho prefers right now much much more.

“I bet your mom didn't know that you’ll end up being my boyfriend by the end of the night when she passed me the food,” Jiho laughs, suddenly remembering Seungyoon's mom. Seungyoon slaps him on the chest.

“Stop talking about my mom when I am kissing you.”

Jiho chuckles and squeezes Seungyoon a little tighter as an apology.

“But I like the sound of that,” Seungyoon says. “Boyfriend.”

“I thought you might,” Jiho says. “You can even call me oppa.”

Seungyoon snorts. “Not even in your dreams.” 

Jiho laughs, loud and easy and Seungyoon ends up laughing with him as well before leaning in to kiss him again. 

Jiho does not tell Seungyoon this, but he still think there are things to be worried and concerned about. But, fuck it, he will think about them tomorrow and deal with them when the time comes. Impulsiveness is a rarity in Jiho’s life. He has gone through enough and learned not to let his emotions run first before his brain can follow.

But, maybe Seungyoon can be an exception. Just for this once. A damn good exception that is just Jiho's. As much as Jiho is his.


End file.
